I'm learning a lot about myself these days. Some of it is exciting like how much I love being back in school and how proud I am of myself for getting straight A's in graduate school. This is the stuff I love to talk about. The fun and fluffy stuff that makes me feel like I'm good, smart, and have it all together. The stuff that makes me smile.
Then there's the other stuff. The stuff I'd rather not face. The stuff I'd rather brush under the rug, pretend it's not there, and just continue on in my own comfort zone. This is the stuff that has a tendency to catch me off guard. The stuff I cringe at when I come face-to-face with "it". The stuff I'd rather crap on and continue on toward the fun and fluffy stuff.
As I get older and I find myself learning to press into the "other stuff", I am learning
that there is no other way to grow other than to face it, no matter what "it" ends up being.
No matter how much I'd rather crap on "it" and continue on toward the fluffy stuff, "it" will continue to come back around.
No matter how much I cringe and moan when I come face-to-face with "it," if my goal is to become more like Christ, I must face "it" and deal with "it".
No matter how much "it" catches me off guard, I must learn to come to expect "it," knowing "it" is the only way toward growth and depth.
No matter how much I'd rather brush "it" under the rug and pretend "it's" not there and continue on in my own comfort zone, I will only come closer to the person I was created to be as I press in and examine the motive, experience, and what is behind that "it".
No matter how much I don't want to learn about all my "its," I am learning that one by one, as I face each one, honestly and humbly, I will be led closer to my true self by a loving Father, Who knows ALL my "it" moments and yet still chooses to love me, wait patiently for me, and guide me toward the person He created me to be.