It wasn’t until 2013 that I realized my NEED to know scripture— so I could speak it and believe it (I was in so much despair I had trouble getting out of bed). I had lost all hope after discovering my husband was leading a double life. I had nowhere to turn— except to God and His Word.
For most of my life, I believed the Bible was true, but when I really examined my thought process, I believed it was true for others, not me. Major transformation was about to happen!
It was January, and being a new year, I resolved to make changes to help cope with the circumstances I’d been persevering through over the previous six years. While attending a wives care group, I realized I couldn’t control or cure my husband. I realized I wasn’t the cause of his issues and I couldn’t change him, but I could choose healing for myself. I could change ME.
Joining a women’s Bible study, we were encouraged to memorize one verse every two weeks. We could choose our own, or go with one offered. At the end of the year we would have committed 24 scriptures to memory. So many verses! It felt like an impossibility to learn them all.
The first verse chosen was Proverbs 31:25 NIV. “She is clothed in strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come.” Right. The Bible study ladies may be Proverbs 31 women, but not me, I thought.
Clothed in strength? This was a foreign language— I was weak as weak could be. I had no strength left.
Dignity? Being a doormat, not able to set a boundary, I was covered in mud!
Laugh at the days to come? What was that supposed to mean? My past days and any foreseeable future did not include laughter, only tears!
Although a bit skeptical, I decided to give it a try, anyway. I scribbled out the verse word for word on the top card of the flippable notebook stack. Then I penned the reference and date.
My attempt was to repeat it out loud as often as possible— at least three times per day. I followed the directions and since it was so short and simple, memorizing was a breeze. The difficulty came in believing this scripture was about me. Yes, true about me.
Teaching the fact God’s Word was holy and true to children was easy, but why was it so hard for me to believe this truth for myself?
As I committed the verses to memory, adding new ones and reviewing previous ones, God’s Holy Spirit began His work in my thoughts and heart. His whispers of love, mercy, and goodness overwhelmed me. As I repeated verses out loud and often, He showed me these verses all applied to me and were written for me, too— not just for everyone else. It was and is a precious revelation I can’t keep from sharing.
Friend, I challenge you to incorporate scripture memorization as a plan and spiritual practice. When we allow God’s Spirit to speak to us through His true Word, we are transformed to become more and more like Jesus.
My life changed entirely and yours will, too. Ready to give it a try and trash the excuses? You won’t regret it! With God’s help, you can do this!
About the author
Hi, I’m Debra. I am a writer who is passionate about helping women who’ve experienced husband’s same-sex addiction overcome shame and secrecy so they can pursue hope and healing.
Ten years into my 22-year marriage, I became aware of my husband's same-sex attraction and acting out through multiple same-sex affairs. I struggled to face the numbing pain of reality, riding an unending roller coaster of hope and despair.
After many years of shame and secrecy, God used the power of scripture memorization to heal my heart and restore my faith. Through telling my story, I hope to come alongside other women to share what I’ve learned and show how God refines us through betrayal trauma.
You can find me at debrawallace.org.