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Riding the Waves of Grief

"Wow, Mom, this is hard!"

As he read, he told the story of how his great-grandma gave it to him for Christmas when he was three in 2013. He talked about how our stupid dog at the time had bitten off its horns, one ear, and one hand.

I looked up at him as he began his second paragraph and saw him begin to fight back tears as he held "MooMoo" close to his body. He shared how only a few months later his great-grandma passed away. After that, he would sleep with "MooMoo" every night, and his love for his great-grandma was transferred to the stuffed cow she gifted to him.

My eyes welled up with tears as I watched him struggle to fight back his own tears. When I realized he would be unable to go on with reading out loud, I put my computer down and went to him as his face fell into "MooMoo" and bawled.

I held him for a while as we both sat there in silence mourning the deep void the loss of my sweet grandma left in our hearts.

When the tears dried up, I told him how it was probably a good thing he had chosen "MooMoo" to write about, as it had brought about some tears that needed to be shed and special memories that needed to be remembered.

I realize he was very young when she passed away and I don't know if he remembers many details about her.

What I do know, is that his emotions were very real and deep and after that moment I realize that he may not remember every detail about her, but he does remember her hugs and her fierce love for him.

This sweet moment reminded me of how when we lose someone we love, the waves of grief have a tendency to come and go at such unexpected times.

We all have a choice as to whether we will ride the waves as they come or ignore them.

Today I chose to ride the wave with my son.

As time continues to march on, the waves seem to come farther apart, but when they come, I want to choose to get on those waves and remember the legacy of love, grace, strength, and prayer my sweet grandma passed on to her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

Today I learned how beautiful the moment can be when I choose to get on the wave with my son and get a glimpse of his tender heart.

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